To mark Marie Curie’s UK National Day of Reflection, Health & Protection speaks to Jo Williams, diversity and inclusivity and wellbeing consultant for Zurich in the UK, about navigating the loss of her mum to lung cancer during lockdown in June 2020.
Despite the distance between us, we were very close. As soon as we suspected she was ill, I realised I needed support from work.
I wanted to travel to the north and spend as much time with her as possible, which included going to appointments and scans to look at diagnosis and treatment. Initially, this help took the form of flexibility and odd days off for around four to six weeks.
The last time I saw Mum was 19 March 2020 and within a few days, the country was in lockdown. She started treatment and I couldn’t visit or support her. It was incredibly tough.
June arrived and Mum was in hospital. I had a call from Macmillan to say she wasn’t well and that the prognosis was not good – the first time I’d heard these words.
I had to take this in, as well as thinking about the practicalities such as whether we had arranged things like power of attorney. A few days later, when dropping my sons at school, my uncle called out of the blue to say Mum had passed away in the night.
It was a huge shock – after months apart, I was desperately hoping to see her.
At this point, I took three months off – a month was compassionate leave and two months were sickness absence. This time out enabled me to grieve and process what had happened.
Zurich gave me a vocational rehabilitation consultant who helped support me back into work alongside my manager. I was also given access to a grief counsellor and benefitted from a generous amount of sessions.
This helped me talk through the challenges, helped me process my loss and navigate life again. I always seemed to speak to my counsellor when I needed too.
On top of this emotional support, I accessed an advanced women’s health check through our benefits package. It felt important given my Mum’s history as well as my aunt’s who also had breast cancer.
It’s been a tough journey but I feel incredibly lucky. Not every employer would have been as supportive. I had a great manager and the organisation has a supportive culture that encourages its people to take the time they need for life’s ups and downs.
I now feel much better but grief isn’t linear and some days it creeps up on me.
But Mum’s passing is a reminder that life is short and we need to make the most of it. We need to focus on what’s important and for me that’s my sons Noah and Isaac.
Today is Marie Curie’s third UK National Day of Reflection. The day is dedicated to giving everyone an opportunity to remember loved ones who have died, support people who are grieving, and connect with each other.