Imposter Syndrome can affect even the most experienced women in the protection sector as Legal & General Retail managing director for distribution Ali Crossley (pictured) discussed her experiences of battling the issue.
Crossley revealed that Imposter Syndrome is the feeling that your achievements are not real or that you somehow do not deserve praise or success and that women disproportionately suffer from the condition with KPMG research showing 75% of women have experienced Imposter Syndrome and that figure is even higher for non-white women.
Speaking at the Women in Protection conference, Crossley told delegates about her feelings after receiving a promotion in 2000 and suffering a “gnawing” feeling of self doubt when she was promoted from chief marketing officer (CMO) to business director in the early 2000s.
“It was at that promotion stage when I felt most like an imposter at work which is ironic because you spend a long time working hard proving yourself that you’re really worthy, earning that promotion,” she said.
“And yet when that promotion comes instead of celebrating it and patting yourself on the back.
“I remember thinking this is real inflection point in my career – going from CMO to business director which got me out of the marketing channel and into general business management which I really wanted to do.
“I remember being in a complete panic and thinking, I don’t think I can do it, I’m going to be found out, I’ve been overpromoted.
“Even though I’d had external validation and my boss, who was an extremely smart actuary and was the one that stuck his neck out and said we need to promote Ali out of the marketing line, even then I really didn’t believe it.”
Crossley highlighted that she “expected to be found out all the time” and there was nothing rational about it, but it was actually damaging her own self esteem.
“I wasted valuable time and business time too getting myself into a tizz unnecessarily because unsurprisingly I was never found out,” she continued.
“And despite thinking I’d be sacked and I’d never be able to work again, I’m still here, I’m still employed and the world is still turning.”
In terms of fighting Imposter Syndrome, Crossley maintained organisations and employees themselves have a big role to play.
This includes:
- providing regular feedback to staff and not just at performance reviews,
- for employees to take negative feedback on board,
- not undervaluing the things we are good at and overinflating our weaknesses,
- demonstrating everyone can make mistakes – including business leaders,
- offering a hand up to people who are more likely to be quiet such as women and minority groups and putting inclusion at the heart of the business,
- and volunteering for new challenges so opportunites do not pass you by.
“After 30 years of work and lots of experience under my belt, I can say Imposter Syndrome shows up in a different way for me today,” Crossley continued.
“I have proven to myself that I can do the things that I used to fear, like standing on a stage because that used to freak me out 10 years ago, never mind 20 years ago.
“But I still do say my success is down to luck. I just got lucky. In fact when I was asked to today about Imposter Syndrome, I said I just don’t feel qualified to talk about Imposter Syndrome. I felt like an imposter.”